By on February 12th, 2016

Special Occasions with International Students

While you’re hosting an international student or intern, there may be a special occasion that your whole family will attend. This can be a great learning experience for your guest, but they may feel more confident if you explain the customs and expectations of the event before attending. They will also likely appreciate an offer of help in knowing what is an appropriate level of dress for the event.

Weddings and Showers

Weddings and Baby or Bridal Showers are very common, especially among the young adults that will likely make up your student or intern’s friend group. These events can be anything from casual BBQs to formal dinner parties. Help your student decode the hints in the invitation. An email or digital invitation on social media usually indicates a casual affair. A mailed invitation that mentions dinner or is worded in formal language indicates a more dressed-up affair. Gifts are not required but are traditional. One difference between American weddings and other cultures is that gifts tend to take the form of items rather than money. Prepare your student for the inevitable games at baby and bridal showers that may not be understood by someone who has never attended one of these events. Assuring them that a congratulatory spirit is the best medicine for any accidental flubs can help them approach these events with confidence.

Birthdays and Holidays

Events like birthday parties, Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners, 4th of July picnics, and New Year’s Eve bashes are as unique as the person throwing them. There are no standard rules for dress, gifts, or activities. This flexibility encourages everyone to draw on what they know of the party thrower to decide how best to approach the event. In some cultures, birthdays are not widely celebrated in the fashion they are here, especially milestone birthdays where Americans tend to throw larger, more elaborate parties. It may be a good idea to explain that the dark, seemingly mean “over the hill” parties are actually a time-honored bit of fun. You also may want to explain traditions that might catch your guest off guard, like kissing under mistletoe or at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve, and help them learn the words to Happy Birthday so they can sing along.

Funerals and Other Events

If someone your guest has come to know passes away, or a friend experiences a loss and they wish to be there for them, an American funeral can be an entirely new experience. American funerals tend to be somber events that involve music, speeches, and prayer if the family is religious. Black formal wear is usually expected. You’ll want to prepare your guest for an open-casket service, and the burial service if these are not common practices in their homeland. Explain how the guest book should be used, and also note that sympathy cards in lieu of attending a funeral are often a good idea for the family member of a friend. Other events that you may attend with your international guest include housewarmings, graduation parties, and special church services like an Easter service. Talk to your student before any of these about what is expected to help them feel confident about attending.

Attending special events are an excellent way to get to know the culture and to help new friends celebrate their lives. If your family has a birthday or other milestone coming up, it might be a fun idea to ask your guest to help you create the event as it would be celebrated in their home as well.